Home of My Heart..

Actually, I'm not sure if I'm having this feeling for someone. I.. I don't know yet. But this feeling just showed up everytime I think of this particular person. But, really.. I don't know if that's my own feeling for him.

Let's say. This particular person is inspiring me to feel in love. Well, I mean.. Maybe.. *Duh apa sih mo ngomong aja susah banget* Mungkin, bisa jadi ini bukan perasaan asli gw. Tapi, karena ada objeknya, dan situasinya kondusif, maka gw terinspirasi untuk merasakan jatuh cinta, untuk kepentingan novel gw. There, I've said it. But I'm not even sure about that. I just, don't exactly know what this is, but it just makes me smile.

So, this is the idea I got today, when I was thinking about him, right after reading his email to me.

Guy : *Standing in front of a girl that wears black hijab, with a nervous smile on his face, trembling lips, doubting himself whether to touch or not to touch her hands while showing her a wedding ring*
"Will you..marry me? Be my wife.." *shy look in his eyes, but tries to be brave to stare at her eyes*

Girl : "..." *a little surprised, her mouth opens* "Yes! Yes, of course.. I will.."

Guy : "Really? You will?"

Girl : "Yea of course. I'm a home girl, you know.."

Guy : "...and what does it have to do with this?"

Girl : "A home to me, is a very comforting place. Something that can make me feel safe being in it, after being in a cruel world outside. It protects me. And everytime I go away from home until night, I'm always worried about how I can get back home. But with you beside me, I have no worries about getting back home quickly. Because with you by my side, I bring the home of my heart with me. The home where I belong" *smiles*

Misunderstood

Recently, I've been accused for doing the things I didn't mean to do, by the closest people in my life. That hurts, you know. I don't understand why they accused me, just like they don't understand what I was trying to do.

First, my best friend. I keep being contrary to what she wants. She likes a douche bag who doesn't really care about her. He doesn't even care when she wants to communicate with him. Since I'm not in love with that guy, I can see clearly that he's a wrong guy to wait for, or at least, it's not her time yet to just let the feeling grows in her heart. Cause, dude, he hasn't proved anything to you that you can give all your heart to him. I've been trying to tell her, to open her eyes. But I think I deliver it the wrong way. She think I'm just jealous of her. So now I change it. I stop telling her not to do this, not to do that. Let her just learn by herself. Now I see that everybody gets their own learning, in different ways.

Second, my mom. I swear I didn't pee on the wall. I swear I flushed.. *Doh!* It's really an insignificant accusation. My mom got mad at me because she thought I pee and it smells like goat's urine -_-' and she told me to wash the toilet. Mom, seriously.. *facepalm*

There, I've done washing the toilet, brushing every piece of the ceramics. And yet, she still smells something weird. Yes, Mom. As I've told you before, it's Onyit's (our cat) urine! She peed on the car, at the door, everywhere! And I've learned something. If you're being accused for doing something you really didn't do at all, don't try to make other believe you. It's useless. Just let them see the truth, and finally they'll be sorry.

Last one. My colleague has just resigned from our office yesterday. Me and the others planned to do something nosy to her. So we kidnapped her, tied her to the chair, gave her flour all over her head and body, drew her face using lipstick, and brought her (plus the chair) to the lobby, got her into the lift and we pushed all the floor buttons. We were so excited to do that to her, that I forgot she is the closest person to me in my office. Maybe she was only shocked, so she's angry with me for doing that to her. My intention was to make this farewell memorable, fun. But apparently, she didn't agree. She felt sad when I left her in the lift.

Really, I have many excuses for those things, but she just won't listen. I admit that I was the one to be blamed. She kept saying that if I was her friend, I wouldn't leave her alone in the lift, that love means nothing without action.

There are many things I've learned here:

1. The way love is delivered isn't always as people wanted it to be. *not talking about the case above. I know I'm wrong.*

2. No matter how close you are to a person, you can never understand her/him fully. You can't always know what she/he's trying to do. Human is mysterious with all their thoughts, words, and action.

CMIIW.

-RC-